TANTRIC TRIAD Janet Kira Lessin janetkiralessin@aol.com

My husband, Sasha, and I have a lover with whom we connect on a
regular basis to explore tantra and polyamory. We all love one other
deeply and connect together well spiritually and sexually. Spiritual
family, a triad together many life-times, we know our oneness on
deep levels. We merge as one, emanations of the divine holy trinity.
We repeat the archetype seen throughout the eons in many beings on
different worlds and endless universes.

We decorate our space so that it feels more spiritual and reflects
the divine. We sacralize our lovemaking sessions with tantric
rituals where we slow down, feel one another and set our intentions.
Our intentions reflect goals we wish to accomplish, desires for
personal and global healing, world peace and higher knowingness and
clarity. We verbalize intentions and begin our session with light
touch and massage. Breathing together, we gaze into each other's
eyes and gradually raise our vibrations higher and higher until we
feel our oneness with each other, God, Goddess, Source and the
Universe.

Together we enter an ecstatic state of high, orgiastic energy which
we sustain for many hours. We connect with each other, the Universe,
the Divine, the cosmos and inter-dimensional and extraterrestrial
entities. After many hours of sexual arousal, I, the only female,
channel discarnates and other beings. Some beings that come through
me say their names. Other beings simply share knowledge and wisdom
way beyond my normal consciousness. Current, past and future lives,
our lives and others, flash before us. We feel all of humanity, all
of creation rush past us in waves upon waves of ecstacy and bliss.

Through intense therapy and reflection, I've freed myself from
cultural conditioning and religious programming to create personal
freedom and depth of connection, intense intimacy with two others
that reveals the inner workings of my own soul. In awe of my life
and the path I've experienced, I feel known, witnessed, acknowledged
and accepted. I feel loved, a love that sustains me when unpleasant
things and bad news come into my life. I shift quicker and sooner to
happy thoughts. I manifest more of my hearts desires. I discovered
the secret of the movie ""The Secret"" and have created a life where
I actively co-create with God. My life has meaning and purpose. I
know why I was born. No longer a victim trapped in the matrix, life
shifts to a Utopian reality, a conscious society where all are loved
and live together in harmony, peace, dignity, beauty and grace.
This year I've completed ten incredible tantric years with my
beloved husband, Sasha. Anniversaries evoke memories of years
passed. We've been through much, evolved, learned and grown to
create a system of two that incorporates parts of both of us. We've
created a space of safety and comfort from whence we can explore
other people and learn more about ourselves.

Sasha and I started out polyamorous. We met in 1997 at a the Loving
More polyamory conference in the west coast. We consummated our
relationship a few weeks later at the Loving More poly conference in
the east coast. When we met we felt our connection–––– powerful,
intense, profound, twin flames reunited after years apart.

From the very start we agreed to create a polyamorous partnership. I
realize we were perhaps a bit naive in our approach. Despite the
emotional highs and lows polyamory living's given us, we've both
always been dedicated to the concept of polyamory. From our own
experiences and from working with thousands of couples and singles
in the lifestyle (we're therapists), we've come to realize
polyamory's not always the easiest path. But it may be the most
exciting. Polyamory stretches individuals, draws them out of their
comfort zone where they can expand, evolve and grow or bust. Even
the poly bust creates growth. Polyamory's a path of truth and the
truth, while it may piss us off at times, ultimately sets us free.
All of us.

Sasha and I've had our ups and downs in our own personal
relationship. We've also had our fair share of new poly
relationships and breakups. It's been a wild, wild, incredibly
interesting ride. Sometimes painful, but the catalyst for such
incredible growth, I wouldn't rewrite my history for the world. Many
times I've given up, wanted to go back to "being monogamous". But
when I've settled down and reflected, I've come to realize, I am who
I am. I love more than one. I enjoy intimacy and lovemaking with
more than one. Yes, I love my one on one time with my husband. But
there are times I wish to share my love with more. I can't go back
into the box. I know too much. I've experienced too much to
constrain myself or my husband into some fear-based, exclusive
relationship that shuts out love that we feel for those we love. We
acknowledge our desires to sexually connect with more than just
ourselves. Together we find ways to express our love and sexual
energy that feels emotionally balanced and healthy for both of us.
I'm grateful, proud of ourselves that we've stuck with it and
created something that works.

So, when I get real with myself after I've created emotional downers
for myself, I get back into the search for the divine beloveds,
those who will love and accept me and Sasha. We seek those who will
compliment our union, honor and respect what we've built together
and join with us to create a conscious network or pod of lovers.
Ultimately we hope to work out all the kinks that various personas
may have with one another and live together on our land, create a
conscious community. We desire 6-12 adults living together in love,
peace and harmony who frequently gather in tantric rituals to share
love and sexual energy.

Sasha and I are pioneers of polyamory. It's a brave, new world.
We've done plenty of trail blazing in our ten years together. We've
accomplished a lot, but realize there's still much more to do.

I recall our early years, when we met and even our separate poly
lives before finding one another. When we met Ryam Nearing and
Deborah Anapol were on the forefront of the poly movement. After
Ryam Nearing, original publisher of Loving More magazine, and her
three male partners (husbands?) dropped out of the spotlight, Sasha
and I stepped in with other polys (you know who you are) and went on
shows like Leeze Gibbons, Inside Edition, Extra, John Walsh, Penn
and Teller and more. It was scary in those days for the audiences in
those talk shows were personally chosen by the producers to be
hostile. We faced a lot of angry people, audiences full of hate and
criticisms, bound to attack the fabric of our souls. We stood
together, firm in our conviction and now there are numerous shows
and spokespersons brave enough to face the media. I'd love to
acknowledge those other poly pioneers, but I'm reluctant to name
names because some prior polys no longer identify as poly. So, I'm
not wanting to out anyone who now desires to keep their poly years
secret. I respect their privacy and applaud their courage to show up
right when we needed it.

Now ten years after, polyamory's everywhere. There are endless web
sites and yahoo groups from all corners of the planet. In those
early days, no one even knew what the word polyamory meant. We've come
a long way baby.

How I long for the days when polyamory's accepted by everyone. I
hope and pray that humanity will evolve to a point where they're
free of prejudice and intolerance and learn to accept people for who
and what they are. We are a diverse species, capable of loving
deeply, intensely, passionately in many ways. Souls are souls. We
are more than our plumbing. Souls connect in a myriad of ways,lifetime after lifetime. We need to respect how souls love one

another and how they find each other time and again. Souls long to
love how they wish to love. Yes, we're learning. I understand it's a
process that may take time. But how I long for us to grow up faster
so that people can feel better about themselves and the choices they
make for their intimate relationships. How I long for the freedom
for all of us to be who we really are and not have to live lives of
lies full of fear.

I acknowledged from the start that Sasha's more comfortable living
polyamorously as he's a veteran of numerous communes in the 60s and
70s. He adjusted very easily to loving more than one in an intimate
relationship. He was my major support system over the years. He
loved me unconditionally as I faced my demons and learned how to
unhook from jealousy patterns that were deeply entrenched in my
psyche. I had been raised a conservative Christian and had to
overcome major programming. I imprinted dysfunctional relationship
programs from my parents that still haunt me to this day. I won't
give up. I keep working on it. Deep down, I have to believe in me,
the real me that lies underneath all that programming.

With Sasha's love, I face my fears. My ego self recognizes the value
of polyamory and understands it theoretically. Polyamory was and
still is a cultural shock to my Inner Child and other parts of me
who are repressed, frightened and conservative.

I realize my operating aware ego's still's not 100% convinced
polyamory's the most valid path for my entire self. That revelation
may come as a shock to many of you as I am the head of the World
Polyamory Association. I am, however, totally dedicated to polyamory
as a lifestyle choice for those who desire to seek it. And time and
again, as I balance between my subselves and allow them to express
their concerns, my Inner Polyamorist and my Inner Monogamist wax and
wane and I come to the realization that I'm more poly than
monogamous. I can't give up. I d must continue and progress, no
matter how slow or arduous. It's a lifelong path healing ancient
pains from this life and others, for myself and all who come into my
life.

Now I totally understand relationship choice. I deal with it on a
regular basis because I face the battle within myself. I acknowledge
the importance of my Inner Monogamist and Inner Polyamorist. They've
shaped who I am and after many years of therapy and reflection, I've
come to love myself. Each persona gets their chance to take center
stage, express themselves, their worries and concerns whichultimately, once the boat stops rocking, creates a smooth ride.

Amazing, I've used this process to find balance and peace within
myself.

Our poly path has led us to our current relationship, a tantric
triad. We are not a closed circle, but remain open for others to
join us in our loving. At times we gather in sacred rituals with
others on the poly-tantric path. Winter time brings friends from the
mainland clamoring for Maui's warmth. None of our lovers live with
us at this time. I've learned to accept what is and while I hope
we'll eventually find community, I am not suffering because it's not
happening.

Most nights it's just the two of us. But when we feel the longing
within our souls, we call our lover join in sacred union.

We move into a space of timelessness, where nothing matters but the
now. Be here now, Ram Das proclaimed for many a year. When we honor
the magical power of the now, we move into present moment living and
loving and feel our oneness and come to a place of incredible peace.

So that's where we're at with our triad. Post your experiences
triading too, let's share our experiences.